You know, I was really open to what a James Gunn DCU might look like.
There were some early signs that things might be okay and that we have things to look forward to. Then there was the final episode of PeaceMaker, and I was willing to let that go and forgive.
HBO Max, on the day after PeaceMaker, sent me an email telling me that their monthly cost was going up. I may have undone my forgiveness and decided to cancel, with the note that “I do not need to fund any more of James Gunn’s self-indulgent craziness.”
This brings us to Lanterns.
I was horrified by the Green Lantern movie. I don’t know how a bunch of very highly paid people could have done any worse than what they did, and I don’t know how they convinced themselves that what they did was acceptable. I believe that releasing that movie was conduct that resembles a felony, or at least several misdemeanors. If I were God Emperor of Earth, there would be prison time, or possibly gladiator battles for several parties involved. I would be ready for my thumbs down regardless of how amazing the spectacle was.
I have kept the torch aloft for Green Lantern and have almost gotten religious in my hope that it would not be total garbage.
The first episode came and went, and it was tolerable. You have Hal Jordan. You have John Stewart.
Things started getting a little wobbly when they started labeling their spooky bad guy a Manhunter, which it turns out is a thing. I was not aware of the storyline from the comics, but I was aware of another Manhunter who was a good guy. I guess there is sometimes some laziness in naming things, even in comics.
Regardless, it took me five minutes to figure out the identity of the secret Manhunter, way before it was revealed.
Let’s fast-forward to… whatever episode 5 was… this week. You have car crashes. You have alien love affairs. You have one lantern leaving another one to die. And whatever the hell the Guardians are doing in all of this, interfering in a replacement selection process that was explained as “the ring chooses its successor,” except in this one case, for some reason.
Every little thing here feels like it is adding a little extra cartoon stink line to the whole story, episode by episode.
I am now at the point where this is in the same category as your average IPA: I do not want it.
It feels to me that my worst fears have been realized, much like the canonical destruction of Star Trek, the DCU under the watchful eye of James Gunn has become a fetid mass of stink that is not interesting to original fans of the IP.
I am very sad about this. It appears that this is a thing that happens with properties under brand management. They sometimes bring in new creative people, and those people have their own stories to tell, and they do not think about how that is going to go with the fan base.
I remember seeing JJ Abrams on a talk show one day talking about being chosen to do Star Trek. He started by saying, “I never watched the shows as a kid…” And the host afterwards went, “I know you just said a lot of things, but I stopped listening after you said you never watched the shows as a kid.”
And this right here is precisely the problem with whatever the hell is happening with Lanterns.
I do not love what they are doing to Hal Jordan.
I do not love what they are doing to John Stewart.
I do not love the random story they picked to use for their opening salvo, given the brand confusion.
I absolutely do not love what they are doing to the Guardians.
Here be spoilers:
And I have real questions about where they think the Lantern’s Oath was broken by Hal Jordan, and how they are involved in anything related to John Stewart and his candidacy for wearing the ring.
I have a real problem with this and with the people who are responsible for making good decisions. This includes the franchise management as well as the writers. I feel like attaching a big celebrity name to these franchises comes with some hubris and some baggage. They are more concerned with what they see in the mirror of their own accomplishments than with treating the brand with the respect that it deserves.
I think this happened with Marvel. I think this happened with Star Trek. I think this happened with Star Wars.
I now believe that it is happening with the DCU.
I get that they are trying to do new things, or prove their Hollywood street cred, or find new audiences, but… What about the audience they already have?
Most of the biggest names in Hollywood have this absolute disregard for the existing fanbase, based on how roughly they have driven a dump truck over the brands of my childhood. I want to be open to new interpretations, and new ideas and novel stories, but it feels like just about everyone involved is trying to figure out how to push the boundaries of what is acceptable to the point of breaking it. Is it some kind of sick aura farming? Do they get their jollies out of the dismay they create in the fans who elevated the brand to where it is today? I don’t know. I almost don’t want to know.
At a certain point, you have to be comfortable with becoming a servant leader and providing service to people without the need for self-aggrandizement. I am sure anyone in Hollywood reading this would laugh and shake their head, knowing how Tinseltown works. This is art, kid; you wouldn’t understand.
Oh, I do understand. I also am a few weeks out from canceling my HBO MAX again. Not because it is art, kid, but it is business.
And I think it is bad business, at that.
It is all a moot point. The LLM-generated stuff is on its way, and it is getting better and better every day. I am looking forward to seeing people doing a better job delivering value to the icons of their childhood. You might find me experimenting with “Emerald Lampman”, an alternative universe where not everything on the screen looks like it needs a double flush.
Stay tuned.
